I wannas sexs uuuuu
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
