from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
