i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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