Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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