South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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