you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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