I skipped work to stalk him.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
