It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
