I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
