I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
