when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
