You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
