Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
