Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
