Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
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yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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