Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
