I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
