literally had 100 drinks last night.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
