If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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