if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
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