just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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