What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
