Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize