Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
