I must be too annoying 4 u.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
