i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Randomize
