filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
