He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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