If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
