What a fucking waste of an outfit
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
