Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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