Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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