im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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