My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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