I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
