I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
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