when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
