I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
