Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
