I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
