if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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