yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
