belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
