We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
