So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
