So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
where are my eyebrows?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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