Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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