you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
