I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Randomize