I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
no you cant smoke seaweed
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Randomize
