you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
