Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
