Fine. I'll sleep in my office
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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