Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
dude. I can hear the air.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
