He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
