You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
