this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
