Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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