i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
