omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
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