i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
